- Professor: Who plans on getting married within the next 5-10 years?
- Like 3 people: *raises hand*
- Professor: Who plans on never getting married?
- Me: *raises hand*
- Professor: *points me out* why?
- Me: It's illegal.
- Professor: touche.
I am really bothered by the fact that basically the only reason why gay marriage is illegal is because some people think it’s disgusting. You know, I think peas are disgusting but we’re noT MAKING THAT ILLEGAL ARE WE
what’s wrong with you peas are delicious
gay people are delicious too
no dessert for you until you eat all your gays
what the fuck just happened here
wouldn’t it be cool if jellyfish floated around in air instead of water but they didn’t sting you instead they gave you little kisses and rubbed your forehead with their tentacles
OH MY GOD
i went into the bank and asked what day it was and the teller said “march 26th” so i asked “and the year?” and she kinda looked at me for a second before saying “2012”. i threw my hands up in the air and yelled “IT WORKED” before turning to leave.
THEN AS I WAS JOGGING OUT OF THE BANK SOME OTHER DUDE CAME UP TO ME LIKE “HOLY CRAP, YOUR MACHINE WORKED TOO?” AND WE HIGH FIVED AND RAN OFF.
WHAT IF HE WAS ACTUALLY A TIME TRAVELER